The time you were together in a relationship? Is it that important for you to be maintaining something that you know won’t work in the long run?

Accidents: Just writing my thoughts about the past.

Everything was an accident but they were never mistakes. My existence was out of random love. My childhood was out of longing for attention. I never had it because of my older brother and sister who were given so much priority. My teenage years were ignored yet welcomed. To everybody in this family, I am an additional success to the expected successes of my big bro and big sis. My achievements in high school was an unplanned way to prove myself that I am better. Failures came to my big bro and sis and I had nothing to do but to act as the hero for my mom and dad. They both fell into depression that lasted a long period. My mom had to go out every night to search for my big sis as dad went deep to his alcohol problem. They weren’t mad at my big bro and my sis, they were frustrated and upset of their choices as parents. I don’t blame them for their accident has also made me what I am today.

My choice on what career path I choose was also an accident. I never knew I’ll like what I like now. I never knew that this choice will be a staircase for my dreams, not only to myself but for my little sister.

What I have now, where I’m currently at, what choices are in front of me and how I’m gonna deal with them, that’s still me waiting for another accident. 

“Go with the flow, let life lead you to where you want to be lead.”

I learned that from a teacher way back in high school. Because an accident won’t be an accident if you won’t let it be like such. Accidents are the results of little mistakes and these little mistakes are given for a reason. To be better.

Part of what I think is wrong and part of it makes little sense but to me, it makes a whole lot of my world right now. Everything around me is an accident made from little mistakes but you know what I can see? I can only see a clear future by using the choices I have today. I am looking at myself. Being selfish for a little while. Giving worth to my own existence. There’s nothing wrong in this. This is completely human.

I was never expected to be the big hit. Mom, dad, and everybody else in this family haven’t expected me to act like the first born. Yet I am. Today. And the coming days will signal my end of the first third of my life. I still have to face work and then acceptance of life worth lived after that.

I think everybody makes unconscious accidents. These accidents mold the person according to how they react to the things they, themselves, make. So if you have the chance of creating another accident I’ll give you this:

“Never chew what you can’t swallow.”


Don’t underestimate yourself as you shouldn’t overestimate things either. Take what you can and let it happen. Let these little accidents happen. Let them be who you are. Take them positively. You are no mistake, you are an accident.

But there’s one more thing that you need to know, it’s not all the time that accidents are bad, accidents can also be good. Now it’s your choice to choose between seeing things brightly or creating things dimmer than they should be.

Here’s what I wanna say.

You’ll meet a lot of people. Most of them are not worth your time. Some are worth the keeps while others are there to use you. You are someone vulnerable, someone who can easily be swayed. If you don’t know how to keep this weakness, just make sure not to be used and get used to being used.

We are not strong. Some of us may say otherwise but that’s not the true fact. We are not strong, our decisions are. Take good choices, they are what keeps you standing. You are not strong but you can be immovable. Strength is but relative to everyone. Even the strongest-looking admit that they’re weak.

You are social. No matter what. You have a life. People may not know you but it is important that you know yourself. If you’re giving most of your time to others, make sure you leave some for your own. You don’t want to be lost, don’t you?

Never create a mess you can’t clean. It’s okay to be bad, but make sure that if you step on other people, compensate with words and delayed apologies. Just be sincere. Some people are too good to do this but they have their own ways of surviving, I just stick to survival. When you think you have a good goal, go for it. Just be rational.

Reality is harsh, and so is your burnt omelette in the mornings. Every time you wake up and you just feel like its another criminal waiting to stab you in the back of your neck, well, it’s a truth we can’t avoid. So get yourself a metal plate and put that thing up where the days usually stab you. I’m not saying that you should be numb, but be prepared. The key here is to be wounded but never to be killed. Wounds are good, they make you feel sane, they make you feel that you’re in reality, that nothing is false. Every mistake you do, every luck that you get, every tinge of happiness that you feel, it’s all true.

Be bright and be brighter than everybody else. Always take good choices. Can you move over to the greener side of the lawn? Can you cover the scars you’ve been making on your wrists and smile at one person for just a little while? It will make a difference, not to others, but to you. Feed your soul with what makes you feel light.

Of course, this is from my perspective. I am but stranger saying my piece of thought. Although these random thoughts may only be a spec compared to the helpful thoughts of good people existing right now, I still hope you’ll get something from this.

Another time wasted for this post yet I feel like I’ve taken a portion of the load I have on my back. Now to get that cup of coffee. Adios!

GETTING ALL SENTIMENTAL AND SHIT AIN’T THAT GOOD BUT IT’S THERAPEUTIC SOMETIMES. HAHA

Me being all deep with my big bro during dinner.
- Bro: : I don't care about how other people think of me, all I care about is me and how I'm enjoying my life.
- Me: : So you think people won't judge you if you stop caring about them?
- Bro: : Yeah... they're all the same, they're gonna judge you in anyway they can. So I came to being who I am now, someone who won't care anymore. To the point of being thought of as a nuthead.
- Me: : Well, it's a complete waste. Your efforts of not caring at all. Because no matter how you won't care about them, they still have the choice whether to care a little bit about you and then judge you eventually or not caring about you at all. Just remember that you're sharing the same environment with other people and things aren't always a one-sided deal. Not only with how you see and deal with other people. Because people can do the same to you too. It's always mutual.
- Bro: : ...as long as nobody messes with me. Just leave me alone.
- Me: : And that's exactly the reason why you'll eventually fall apart. *walks out*
"Expecting the world to treat you right just because you’re a good person is like expecting a lion not to attack you just because you’re a vegetarian. Think about it."
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