Maybe a long night’s walk won’t distract us of what we have as we take steps towards the lightpost we call fate. Our hands bumping into each other as if they’re begging to clasp together. The tension builds as we take peripheral glances of each other not knowing of what might happen until the walk stops. Yes. Maybe I do like you this much. This long walk. This uncertainty that I’m always so worried about. Are you the girl the world has dictated to be my center? I am fighting back, you see, but even my soul can’t remove the fact that I like you. I am nothing. Nothing until you give me a sign that you would at least acknowledge me as a boy admiring a woman. Should I give up? Please let me know. But somehow. Even if you can’t tell me what I want to know. I’ll muster up all the courage I can to finally tell you how much you keep me awake at night; how you make me smile during random times of the day; how you make me flush red when I think of your smile. The possibilities are favoring me yet I’m fighting back. Am I this weak to tell you I like you? Please…

I want my confession on the beach by the bonfire. I want it to be random. Our common friends will gather us all together. You’ll be it and all the boys will close their eyes; I’ll be anxious with my eyes closed. All you have to do is pick a guy you’re interested of being more close to. It seems as if you know the rest of the guys already ‘cept for me and a couple more guys but you’re only familiar of me, with that, you have decided. You headed right over in front of me. I’m sitting on the ground not expecting of being picked yet… I felt a finger on my forehead. I slowly opened my eyes and I saw your face. You’re a bit shy and you are showing a hesitant smile. The game ends and we’ll have our time together by the beach. And the rest will follow.

I’ll be dead when this day comes but I’m not sure when.

You’re the one I’m thinking about in random times of some days. Days when I’m pretty bored. Your smile, I still have it preserved in my mind. That day when we stood in front of each other laughing at a common friend. We didn’t know about each other, just each other’s name. I can picture you anytime with that smile, and it never fails completing my day.

I had this plan of secretly giving you something on Valentine’s Day. You’ll never know because I’ll let someone not-so familiar to you give it. You won’t know who it’s from either. Under the box, a letter is clipped. Still… with that, you won’t know who it’s from. Everything I like about you is written in the letter; your smile, your simple gestures that makes me melt, everything I notice about you ad how I always look your way when you’re around. But still… I’ll do it because I feel the need of giving something back to you, for existing as you are. For being a random thought that completes everything in a boring day. There, you’ll find a number with a note. I plan to give you more letters but I will never reveal who I am. I’ll wait for the right day. I hope you’re willing to do the same.

Ahhh… forgive me if I am this cheesy. I get called a Romantic by old women I tell my stories to. They say I have old ways in dealing with little things. But I hope you’ll feel my sincerity when we meet one day. Even if you reject me, I will continue in liking you. I don’t know how far this crush will go but I’m liking it as it lasts. Thanks.

Dear Wife,

You’re the only one I had that left me with no other option. Because it just had to be you. You’re prolly in our room sitting on your favorite blue chair. Your hair still flowing that never failed to mesmerize me. Your smile, silent but bright. But I guess I won’t see you smile while you’re reading this letter.

I remember the time when we were still in college. You were a familiar classmate and I was the same to you but you never saw me in a special way. You never saw me looking your way every time we had our lectures with Professor D. But look at me now, I still have you, even though I’m already far away. 

Even though I’m in another life, still, you’ll still be my all. Everything I left is for you now. Our kids and my wealth as you please. I wish you’ll never cry reading this, just smile instead. Always remember you’re mine. Every night when you feel something cold on your forehead, I want you to feel warm instead. It’s because that would be me giving you a kiss on your forehead. It’s the rarest I can give to show you that you are mine. Forever.

If only I can stay, I will. By your side. Holding your hands. As what we promised each other. Carved on the tree where we first had our first hi-hello’s. Together. Forever.

PS: I kept all the notes you gave me buried under your favorite flower pot in the garden. I got something for you there.

Love,

J.

I’m not wishing anymore. I’m just gonna let things happen. If the two of us are good for each other, I guess time will bend our paths towards each other. If it won’t and I still find myself liking you, I’m just gonna continue that way. I’m not in a hurry and I’m sure you’re the same as I am. People may think I’m pitiful of the way I appreciate you but that’s all I can give and I’m sort of sorry about it. But I just have one thing in my mind right now, I like you.